To: You

Dear Susie,

Hey, I know this a little weird but hear me out. I’m gonna pour everything out, everything that you know or maybe don’t know either way.. this is for you. So, enjoy.

When everything started out, I had no intention of dating anyone let alone fall in love. It started as a bet which kinda makes me sound like a bad person but its how it started. I was involved in a stupid bet with my best friends at the bowling alley. We made a bet to see who could get more girls on Tinder. I know it sounds bad but it happened and it happened after I had gotten out of an abusive relationship. I was down for whatever could help get my mind off of this girl who I thought I loved, obviously it was the worst thing ever. We all had our Tinder profiles set up and on top of it we had a deadline. One week was all it took for me to win the bet, those boys didn’t stand a chance against me. I won the bet and we all agreed to leave the profiles and just talk and possibly make friends. None of us wanted a relationship, but I knew the girl I wanted to talk to. I talked to you. I talked to the most beautiful girl, someone who was funny and cracked jokes with me about working in a bowling alley. From then on, you were the only girl who I continued to talk to, and even though we didn’t meet in this big romantic way.. we still met and thank god we did.

From Tinder, I gave you my phone number and made up some stupid excuse saying that my Tinder was acting weird. It actually wasn’t, I just wanted your number and to continue talking to you. I know it’s cheesy but guess what, I got to talk to the girl who I enjoyed talking to more than anything. I had told my boys at work that I continued talking to you and I remember they were so cautious with it. They wanted me to be happy and didn’t want me to go through the same thing that I had went through with the ex. I understood where they came from but every single time you had sent me a text, my face lit up and I couldn’t help but smile. We continued to talk and get to know each other and I remember getting butterflies and being so happy that someone understood me and had similar interests. Someone who wasn’t weirded out about me wanting to go to school to become a forensic pathologist.

Around July 9th, 2018 we decided to start calling each other baby, or babe. Do what couples did, and even though we didn’t “make it official” by asking each other out, we understood each others wavelengths and knew that we both wanted each other. At this point we still hadn’t met and I was totally okay with it and didn’t push it because I was scared. I was scared that when you had seen me in real life and not just in photos, you wouldn’t want me anymore. You would think that I’m not your type or something like that. I was scared of even getting into a relationship with someone because I didn’t trust after her. You eventually showed me that nothing else mattered except us. You showed me that I could trust you, you made me laugh and smile. I swear the butterflies were insane.

Shortly after we had told each other we loved each other, by far one of the best moments of my life. The love that I had to give you was reciprocated and it was intense. There was so much love that it was crazy. I hadn’t been this happy in a while and with you telling me you loved me, came me telling you everything about what had happened in my past. I was so sure your opinion of me was going to change, but it didn’t. You didn’t show pity or sympathy. Instead you told me that you loved me and your opinion didn’t change. I was so relieved that the girl I had fallen in love with didn’t want to leave me just because I was messed up.

October 12th, 2018 rolls around and you show up at my house. I was still in the shower when you had showed up and I remember being so happy that my best friend was standing in my house, was playing with my animals. Was just happy to be there, I laughed and went to finish my shower. You stayed with me until close to 3:00 AM and it was the best night of my life. We had our first kiss and we were both so awkward. Standing there not knowing who would make the first move and when they would make the first move. We laughed every time we even got remotely close to kissing each other. Our first kiss was something that I couldn’t stop thinking about, I was constantly smiling and had butterflies in my stomach because the most beautiful girl, who was my girlfriend, who was my best friend, who meant everything to me was with me and loved me. I couldn’t have asked for a better night.

From there we were pretty much with each other every weekend after that. We constantly talked about how much we missed each other even though we had seen each other the previous Friday. I waited so long for Friday to come every single week. I was always so excited to see you. I always looked at my lock screen on my phone because it was a picture of us from the first night we met. It was and still is my favorite picture. I never for a second ever missed a chance to screenshot your snaps that you had sent me. Didn’t matter what it said, I was trapped in awe of my girlfriend.

Now here we are at six months, and I’m sure this isn’t how we imagined we’d end up. BUT, I went into 2019 with the person who has my heart. I went into 2019 with the person who I loved the most. I loved you then and I love you now. Relationships have rough patches and that’s fine but, not a moment goes by where you’re not in my head. Where I don’t miss you on my bed, when I’m not missing your kisses, or you playing with my hair. Six months is a long time to be with someone especially when life had been treating someone so horribly. I love you Susie, and I don’t think I’m gonna stop anytime soon.

Here we are into the new year with so many new opportunities. I promised that 2019 was going to be our year and I don’t intend on breaking that promise. I’m here to stay, I’m here to annoy you and serenade you no matter what. You truly have my heart and not a moment goes by where I regret opening up to you. Right now, It’s me and you against the world and I’m not sorry about it. You are my partner in crime and my lover. Classic Bonnie and Clyde. Well you know, the whole love part.. maybe not the crime. Would Romeo and Juliet be better?? No it wouldn’t that story didn’t end well. How about instead, it’s our own story. Haven’t thought of a name but it’s ours and we’re writing it. I love you. More than you know.


-Charity Renee Lingle

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